Use the random name chart below to create your own beastly drinks brand. Pick one word from each of the three categories and arrange in any order you like. You don’t have to use the words below, use your imagination.
To enter, simply leave your drink name and a short description in the comment field below. The one that most impresses us will win a bottle of Zorokovich 1917 Vodka (untouched by animals, as far as we know). We’ll publish the best suggestions in the next issue. Competition closes on Friday 10th August; winner will be notified by 17th August.
We’ve extended the competition until Tuesday 14th August, the winner will still be notified by 17th August.
Terms and Conditions
- Competition is open to UK residents aged 18 and over. Proof of age required to claim prize. Only one entry per person. Prizes are non-transferable, non-negotiable and no cash alternatives will be offered. No purchase necessary. Our decision is final.
Sooty beef cognac
:0)
Musky Mutton Merlot
Frisky Octopus Gin
Blue Whale Ale
- a salty, frothy, lightly hopped IPA which is passed through the blow hole of a blue whale for an effervescent finish.
Smokey Shark Scotch
An intense yet delicately balanced Scotch that is made with North Sea sharks. The chargrilled shark steaks are infused with peat to provide a wonderful whisky.
Squealing Hamster Cider–
Mostly apple, but with a subtle hint of hamster. for when the tanginess of the apple just doesn’t hit the spot and you need a little extra bite.
Devilish Dragon Drambuie
Sexy Octopus Vodka.
Smooth, with a hint of salt, every bottle top is screwed eight times by the loving tentacle of a caring yet firm cephalopod.
Sweet Swallows Whiskey
Follow each swallow of this sweet medium-bodied whiskey with a square of bitter-sweet chocolate. Feel your taste buds spring to life as the dangerously good chocolate melts and mingles with the fruity undertones of the whiskey.
Remember to stock up in Summer when this tipple, triple distilled high in South Africa’s Table Mountain, swooshes to Scotland on the glossy blue back of the Swallow.
Candied Corgi Cognac
The tiny bit treasonous tipple.
Bubbly Bat Brennivín
A refreshing effervescent Icelandic Schnapps guaranteed to make you blind drunk.
Hot Heffalump Akvavit
A real drink made with the help of a legendary character!
Referring to a time when Heffalump watchers would drink hip flasks full of Akvvavit in order to keep warm, the distillers in Gdansk are trying to revive a tradition with a bottle made special with the addition of a spicy secret: Naga Bhut Jolokia
Sour Goose Scotch
Does what it says on the tin
Hot Goose Scotch
Well if it’s good enough for the grouse…..
Fluffy Cow Gin
Farmer’s ruin
(you know how I love farming jokes)
Alliterative Aardvaark Absinthe
An authentically agreeable ailment allayer, augmenting assorted aardvark arterial accretions and actual ant adrenalin against amplified absinthiated aqua.
“Absolutely Awesome” – Alan Alda, Actor.
Hairy Dog Vodka.
Gets you up
Fluffy Goose Rum
A cuddly cosy rum, that tastes as soft as goose down, with a hint of slow roast flavour. It will only take a sip to ruffle your feathers!
Frisky Goose Scotch
- the title says it all.
Hollowed-out Gin Weasel.
You have no idea what was in it but by golly you can feel it the next morning. Squalid and a bit depraved, goes well with chips.