Where does your porn star life take you today?

I’m on the way to the airport to go to the AVN convention in Vegas, probably the biggest adult movie convention in the world. It’s a lot of fun, you get to say ‘hi’ to all the performers and they do some shoots. What’s to dislike, it’s Las Vegas? I have a beautiful woman taking me to the airport and another picking me up at the other end.

I’m just heading back to my house after this. It somehow doesn’t seem so exciting now.

There’s a lot to be said for a nice married life with kids, I understand that. My dad and brother were like that. I’m the only oddball. My mum used to say that her son Ron dances to a different drummer.

*Ron takes a break from the interview to serenade Hot Rum Cow on his harmonica with a selection of Scottish tunes including Scotland the Brave and Bonnie Banks o’ Loch Lomond*

Speaking of music Ron, you’ve starred in a lot of music videos; you must have propped up the bar with a few interesting characters over the years?

I’ve met a tremendous amount of celebrities – Sammy Hagar, Johnny Knoxville, and I’ve been in music videos with Guns N’ Roses and Kid Rock, and recently with LMFAO and Armand Van Buuren. Sure, I drank a little with them, but I’m actually not a big drinker myself, though I’ve got my own rum. All my Irish friends, they love drinking. Russians, they love drinking, Spanish, they love drinking. I’m a Jewish fellow, they’re not known for being huge drinkers. My parents raised three kids who all went to college, drank a little, but no drugs, no smoking, nothing. That’s why I dedicated my book to them.

But the family does have its history with booze. I believe your great-uncle was a rum runner?

Yeah, Benny Greengrass. My grandmother was Rose Greengrass and the family branched off. Half of them went with the rum and Benny delivered to various drop sites for anyone with money during the Great Depression. The other Greengrass went with sturgeons (of caviar fame), became the number one sturgeon king in America and opened up the Greengrass delicatessen, which is very well known in Harlem.

So what was the thinking behind bringing out a rum?

True story – ron is rum in Spanish and they wanted to find a well-known Ron to promote it. So, Ron Howard directs movies, Ron Reagan passed away, Ronald McDonald makes hamburgers and Enron are a bunch of crooks – and that left me. One of the slogans for my spiced rum is that Captain Morgan’s on one leg, I’m on three.

Presumably though, drinking on set in your line of work would be a risky business?

It’s not a good idea. A little bit is all right if the girls want to relax and get a little mellow, it’s up to them, but the men – no, it will hurt their performance.

When you do have a tipple, what’s your drink of choice?

Rum and coke or rum and pineapple juice or rum and ginger. It goes with so many things. It’s so exotic, you feel like you’re on a foreign island because rum is like the pirate drink. My rum is all over the place, but mostly by the shore. There’s that expression, ‘yo ho ho and a bottle of rum’, but you never hear them say, ‘yo ho ho and a bottle of Jägermeister’, it just doesn’t fit.

And what would be the most exotic drink you ever had?

My alcohol … with pineapple juice.

If you were a type of drink, what would you be and why?

I’d be a Sloe Comfortable Screw of course, because I think it’s a great name.

As a condemned man, awaiting your fate, what would your last drink be, and why?

*Phone interview, perhaps predictably, fades to heavy breathing*

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